Wedding

IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A

WHITE WEDDING

 

Maybe it's the woman in me? Or perhaps it's due to the large amounts of Michael Buble I've been listening to recently... but I really just want to get married. Not so much for the fact that I'd be in love with someone and all that jazz (though that would be nice), but mostly because Pinterest has allowed me to cultivate my inner Wedding Planner. Never in my life have I been consumed by appropriate and attractive color schemes nor have I been intrigued by seasonally appropriate flower arrangements. Heck, I have only been to a handful of weddings during my lifetime, and despite my gender, I have never had a severe inclination to get married.

Yes, weddings are fun. If there is free food and a dance floor, you can expect me to embarass myself countless times all while having the time of my life. Yet, for myself, I am still not sure if I'll ever walk down the aisle inthat poofy white dress that causes people to cry. And no, I don't believe that because of a terrible self-esteen that makes me fear that I'll never find someone who loves me enough to pop the question. I'm freakin' awesome, (though a bit crazy at times), so that terrible thought is the least of my worries. The thing is, I've always viewed myself as being that 'Runaway Bride' type of girl. Committment is pretty scary, especially when it could end in ruins. When I was younger, I was certain that if I were to get married, my husband and I would end up fighting and disliking each other much like my own parents. 'Since it happened to them, why wouldn't it happen to me?' I always wondered.

With those thoughts, a very interesting situation was created. It may be difficult for you all to believe due to the fact that I constantly wear my heart on my sleeve and share so much of my life (even if I should try to keep an air of mystery most of the time). When it comes to actual commitment, I am scared beyond belief. Honestly, I suspect that I don't want anything to do with a serious relationship because I would much rather not risk going through heartbreak.(I'm pretty sure this is why I have somehow managed to sabatoge every possible relationship I've ever been in). So, the whole marriage thing has proved to be out of the question for a very long time. I didn't want to deal with it, even if wedding celebrations are beautiful and typically covered in glitter and ribbon and awesomeness.

Fast forward to the past few months and everything has changed. Well, I'm still afraid of committment. But now, I've finally realized my immense love and respect for all the aspects that make up a wedding. I am obsessed with every detail that goes into wedding planning, for some odd reason. The flowers, the food, the dress... Everything! I even broke down and created a board on Pinterest designated just for wedding pins. (A few months ago, I would have laughed if you told me I'd do that. I literally cringed every time I saw that my friends had pinned dresses, engagement photo ideas and the like to their own wedding boards). I am a changed woman and I'm not sure if it is for better or for worse.

(Did you see what I did there? Ha.)

Pinterest is like a gateway drug, I swear. When I signed up for the lovely website, I just thought it would be a fun visual way to get my thoughts together and provide inspiration. While it does both of those things... I spend much more time on Pinterest than I ever intended to. Also, I pin a lot more recipes and crafts than I'm capable of executing. In fact, I believe I've only used 1/16th of those tutorials/recipes. To me, it's easy to see that I have a bigger problem than being obsessed with weddings but, I digress.

I suppose that it is very easy to get caught up in all the sparkles and lovey-dovey atmosphere of a wedding. With Hollywood's perception of love bombarding us from every angle, it's hard not to constantly think about it, especially if you happen to be a woman, like me. It seems that getting married has almost always been one of the ultimate goals in life and because of this, many believe that they're worthless if they aren't in a relationship. That is not the path that I want to end up on. To be honest, I don't think that most people wish to feel that way but unfortunately, it's difficult to escape the media that constantly supports that idea.

Though I disapprove of that sort of thinking and hope that society changes it's view on singleness, I don't believe it is bad to like weddings. They are beautiful celebrations that are full of hope and happiness (most of the time, anyway). In fact, it's not even a bad thing to daydream about your own wedding, as long as it's not killing your self-esteem if you haven't found the one yet. I already have a somewhat planned game plan for my future wedding, if I were to have one. There are a lot of cool ideas out there that I would like to try, if my future fiance is on board with it, of course. Hoping for things like Harry Potter themed engagement pictures might qualify me for a case of wishful thinking, but you never know, it could happen. And it would be freakin' awesome. ADMIT IT. :)

All I know is that there will be a lot of Michael Buble played at my wedding. I don't care what my fiance has to say about that... it's happening. And I'll be singing to my future husband about our love during the reception, so he better be ready for that. Oh, and the food has to be glorious. If the food at the wedding is bad, then it just allows the marriage to get off on the wrong foot, and we can't let that happen. Also, while we're on the subject of food, I don't care what anyone says, if I want to eat at my wedding, I am going to take a break from thanking everyone for coming and posing for pictures and eat to my heart's content. I'm not risking my sanity just to make everyone happy. It's not going to be like Lily and Marshall's wedding on How I Met Your Mother, do you hear me?

:)