Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Reasons Why:


REASONS WHY 
MY SISTERS DISLIKE ME AND ARE EXTREMELY JEALOUS OF ME


1. My sisters and I love to eat. Jackie is more like me in her habits and will eat pretty much anything. She isn't picky like Shelby. My middle sister would rather live on an elf's favorite food groups: Candy, Candy Cane, Candy Corn and Syrup. Although she is a little brat, (I mean... what??), she loves to consume every thing that is sweet. Jackie won't pass up a sweet treat either, especially when that sweet treat is pudding. While Shelby prefers vanilla, Jackie is more of a chocolate-vanilla swirl fan. I happen to have no preference and eat any pudding that I happen to see in front of me. This proves to be a bit of a problem when I'm visiting them and I happen to feel a little hungry. If I'm only craving a snack, I will go straight for the pudding. And they don't like that. They don't like that one bit.

(I couldn't help but post this. Don't judge me. I love Supernatural. And Dean. And also, pudding).
2. Everyone knows that I'm the smartest child. I've always gotten the best grades and I pride myself on doing well in school. It's the greatest form of success that I've ever been able to be a part of. Sure, you may say that grades aren't everything, but I'd have to disagree on some levels. If you don't get good grades, then free money for college is basically impossible unless you are some awesome magician who can persuade scholarship committees to feel sorry for you and give you money even if you never tried in school. My sisters do not find joy in school, nor are they magicians. Perhaps studying and test taking doesn't come as easy to them as it does to me. It's not too far-fetched to say that I stole all of the smart genes when it came down to it.

Don't get me wrong... my sisters are smart as well. But not as book smart. Not a bad thing, of course, but I know that they sometimes wish they could have my skills. They wish that they could be able to pass a subject and not have to study. I don't blame them. My skills are pretty killer, if I do say so myself.

3. When people aren't as perfect and enchanting as you, sometimes it is better to just let them go on their merry way. However, what kind of sister would I be if I let Shelby and Jackie believe that they are doing great, when they could be doing so much better! Seriously, as an older sibling, I believe that it is my job to make sure the little ones do things correctly. I obviously know everything and am the best at anything I try to do, so why shouldn't I tell them how it should be? I don't know why it makes them so mad when I correct them or do things better than them, but it just does. Maybe they're jealous? If so, I don't really blame them. I mean, look at me.

(Why thank you, kind stranger. I suppose I am!)
4. Ever since we purchased Just Dance, the number of dance competitions in my house has rose about 100%. And if my sisters didn't know I was a better dancer before, they have to know now. When I bust a move, those around me just can't handle my skills. Shelby and Jackie get flustered since my footwork is so spot on, and they start to complain. They tell me I'm cheating, or say that the game is rigged in order to explain my winning. Let me just tell you... Just Dance can sense a fantastic dancer with no more than a touch of a button. You can't fake talent, or skill, especially if it a skill of this nature. YOU CAN'T TOUCH THIS.


5. If you have known me for more than five minutes, you will know that I worry WAY too much. I constantly think about every bad thing that could happen and freak out, even if nothing ends up happening. I just can't help it. I've been this way since birth and I have no way to change it. Since my sisters are very near and dear to my heart, I usually am worrying about them, no matter the time of day or if they are in Reno or Spring Creek. I don't want anything to happen to them, because I don't know what I would do with myself if they were gone. Not only would I lose the girls whom I make fun of, but I would also lose my best friends. I just couldn't handle that.

However, although you may see this trait of mine as sweet, my sisters are thoroughly annoyed by my worry. I call them at all hours of the night, just to make sure they are alive. At that point, I'm sure they would rather be sleeping than answering my frantic phone calls. I am constantly acting like a mother to them when they are with me. I tell them what they can and can't do, and both of them roll their eyes at me. I probably won't be a very nice mom, I have come to believe thanks to their reactions to my mom voice. Whatever... I'm not here to be liked by my children. I'm here to love them and take care of them and make sure they are awesome! Same with my sisters.


7. Now, this is probably a weird reason to jump to after I talked so much about worrying about my sisters. Yet, there are times when I choose sleep over my sisters. Over hanging out with them, over talking with them, over thinking about them.... I just really, REALLY enjoy sleep. It's not that I care any less about Shelby and Jackie, but sleep is freakin' important. And glorious. And you don't want me to lack any sleep, or else I will become a mean witch in the morning. I need my beauty sleep, whether that means I'll see my sisters or not.


8. My teeth are very sharp and when I try to bite them, they don't like it. You may be asking, 'Why in the world would you bite them?' Well, to answer your question, I have to defend myself somehow! Because they are overrun with jealousy, they have been known to attack me from time to time. I don't know what they believe they will accomplish by attacking me, or hurting me, but I end up showing them who is the tough one of the family. I use my pearly whites as weapons because my sisters don't ever expect me to do so! So I catch them off guard... It really is an ingenious plan, if I do say so myself. However, if you choose to use your own teeth as a weapon, make sure you're willing to have a weird taste in your mouth for a while. People taste yucky!