Nevada Crushes

NEVADA CRUSHES

I HATE YOU, YET I LOVE YOU.

This post probably won't be of any importance or even interesting for that matter. I am just in need of a big ol', long rant. I will apologize beforehand and pray that you won't leave my blog with the bitter taste of disgust in your mouth. I would be very depressed if I did anything to offend my lovely readers, but honestly, this post shouldn't be that bad. At least, as I'm writing this disclaimer, I feel as if it could actually be really funny. However, the only way you'll find out is if you stick around. I'll try to make it worth your time. :)

 So... Nevada Crushes has become a pretty popular page on Facebook, where people post anonymous messages to their crushes at UNR because they don't have the guts to do it in person. (ORRR... they don't know who the person is but they still want to admire their beauty over the internet). On a good day, I will be quite accepting of the page and even take the time to like a few of the posts they have on there. Heck, a few of them are really sweet and even hilarious! Yet, at times... I can get very frustrated with what's happening on the page. Not that any of it's bad... I'm just a fun-sucker, trying to ruin everyone's good time, I suppose.

Many would claim that I do not approve of the page because I've never had anything written about me. I suppose that would be a valid point. As much as I would love for someone to write a nice comment about me... I would much rather that compliment be told to me in person, (to my face!) so I could thank the person and get to know them better. Sure, it's nerve wracking to gain the courage to talk to a ridiculously good looking person, such as myself, but if it's really meant to be then the moment of fear is totally worth it. In all actuality, I believe that social media is hindering our generation. As a whole, our social skills have gone down the toilet, compared to our mothers' and fathers' generation. We communicate largely through Facebook and e-mail, finding it troubling to speak face to face with one another. It's quite sad.

Of course, I am definitely one of these people whose social skills has been affected. I have noticed this recently and I wish that I had grown up in the good ol' days where social confrontation was inevitable. Sure, I go out and am extremely friendly, talkative and fun to be around. These adjectives only describe me whilst I'm securely tucked away into my comfort zone with friends or people that I'm around daily. When it comes to talking to other people that I may view as 'out of my league' or 'unapproachable,' I freeze up and refuse to say hello, fearing that I may do something uber embarrassing. As you may know, I'm filled with a lot of anxiety from time to time, so when I do not have a sense of comfort surrounding my relationship with the individual (they're a music major, they're from my home town, etc...), I do not go out of my way to be social. I curl up in the fetal position and mentally shame myself for being a coward.

For the past few days, I have been going down this path over and over again, each day more terrible than the last. While performing in the opera, Suor Angelica, this weekend, I have come to realize that one of the guys who plays in the orchestra is utterly adorable. I won't give many details because most of you probably already know about the situation, since I can't get my mouth to stay shut, and I also don't want to make this more awkward than I've already made it. (Which is pretty dang awkward, I must admit). Anyway, you would think that it would be quite simple to go up to this guy and say, 'Hi, my name is Nicole. You orchestra people are just great... Do you like playing in the show?' or something to that effect... Striking up a conversation shouldn't be that difficult. That is, unless you're me and you come up with scenarios in your head that cause you to be way too nervous to talk normally to people.

As soon as I got it in my head that this boy was attractive, I froze up whenever he came into the room. Inside my mind I started freaking out, thinking irrational thoughts such as: "I'm way too nerdy for this boy's liking." or "I'm the most awkward individual ever....," which honestly aren't true. I was making assumptions about this guy before I even said two words to him. Due to those thoughts that I had conjured up, I came up with some crazy unattainable persona for this kid and therefore couldn't even utter two words to him. Every time he came my way or happened to look in my general direction, I got the deer in the headlights look. It was probably seriously too attractive for people to handle.

I know I digress... but it all kind of goes together. My social skills aren't very good at times and honestly, I believe that social networking sites can make this a lot worse than it needs to be. While Nevada Crushes is a great way to make someone's whole day and can even bring two folks together, it also perpetuates our society's refusal to deal with confrontation. We hide behind computers instead of being bold and giving compliments to those people whom we like. Why don't we break the cycle? Nevada Crushes will most likely lose it's popularity in a few weeks anyway, but going up to the person you like and giving them a simple compliment will never lose it's style. Plus, I've been told that it's somewhat safe and won't kill you. ;) I vow to be braver and I hope that we both will eventually see how awesome we are! We got this. We can talk to people, no problem.

:)