Wedding

IT'S A NICE DAY FOR A

WHITE WEDDING

 

Maybe it's the woman in me? Or perhaps it's due to the large amounts of Michael Buble I've been listening to recently... but I really just want to get married. Not so much for the fact that I'd be in love with someone and all that jazz (though that would be nice), but mostly because Pinterest has allowed me to cultivate my inner Wedding Planner. Never in my life have I been consumed by appropriate and attractive color schemes nor have I been intrigued by seasonally appropriate flower arrangements. Heck, I have only been to a handful of weddings during my lifetime, and despite my gender, I have never had a severe inclination to get married.

Yes, weddings are fun. If there is free food and a dance floor, you can expect me to embarass myself countless times all while having the time of my life. Yet, for myself, I am still not sure if I'll ever walk down the aisle inthat poofy white dress that causes people to cry. And no, I don't believe that because of a terrible self-esteen that makes me fear that I'll never find someone who loves me enough to pop the question. I'm freakin' awesome, (though a bit crazy at times), so that terrible thought is the least of my worries. The thing is, I've always viewed myself as being that 'Runaway Bride' type of girl. Committment is pretty scary, especially when it could end in ruins. When I was younger, I was certain that if I were to get married, my husband and I would end up fighting and disliking each other much like my own parents. 'Since it happened to them, why wouldn't it happen to me?' I always wondered.

With those thoughts, a very interesting situation was created. It may be difficult for you all to believe due to the fact that I constantly wear my heart on my sleeve and share so much of my life (even if I should try to keep an air of mystery most of the time). When it comes to actual commitment, I am scared beyond belief. Honestly, I suspect that I don't want anything to do with a serious relationship because I would much rather not risk going through heartbreak.(I'm pretty sure this is why I have somehow managed to sabatoge every possible relationship I've ever been in). So, the whole marriage thing has proved to be out of the question for a very long time. I didn't want to deal with it, even if wedding celebrations are beautiful and typically covered in glitter and ribbon and awesomeness.

Fast forward to the past few months and everything has changed. Well, I'm still afraid of committment. But now, I've finally realized my immense love and respect for all the aspects that make up a wedding. I am obsessed with every detail that goes into wedding planning, for some odd reason. The flowers, the food, the dress... Everything! I even broke down and created a board on Pinterest designated just for wedding pins. (A few months ago, I would have laughed if you told me I'd do that. I literally cringed every time I saw that my friends had pinned dresses, engagement photo ideas and the like to their own wedding boards). I am a changed woman and I'm not sure if it is for better or for worse.

(Did you see what I did there? Ha.)

Pinterest is like a gateway drug, I swear. When I signed up for the lovely website, I just thought it would be a fun visual way to get my thoughts together and provide inspiration. While it does both of those things... I spend much more time on Pinterest than I ever intended to. Also, I pin a lot more recipes and crafts than I'm capable of executing. In fact, I believe I've only used 1/16th of those tutorials/recipes. To me, it's easy to see that I have a bigger problem than being obsessed with weddings but, I digress.

I suppose that it is very easy to get caught up in all the sparkles and lovey-dovey atmosphere of a wedding. With Hollywood's perception of love bombarding us from every angle, it's hard not to constantly think about it, especially if you happen to be a woman, like me. It seems that getting married has almost always been one of the ultimate goals in life and because of this, many believe that they're worthless if they aren't in a relationship. That is not the path that I want to end up on. To be honest, I don't think that most people wish to feel that way but unfortunately, it's difficult to escape the media that constantly supports that idea.

Though I disapprove of that sort of thinking and hope that society changes it's view on singleness, I don't believe it is bad to like weddings. They are beautiful celebrations that are full of hope and happiness (most of the time, anyway). In fact, it's not even a bad thing to daydream about your own wedding, as long as it's not killing your self-esteem if you haven't found the one yet. I already have a somewhat planned game plan for my future wedding, if I were to have one. There are a lot of cool ideas out there that I would like to try, if my future fiance is on board with it, of course. Hoping for things like Harry Potter themed engagement pictures might qualify me for a case of wishful thinking, but you never know, it could happen. And it would be freakin' awesome. ADMIT IT. :)

All I know is that there will be a lot of Michael Buble played at my wedding. I don't care what my fiance has to say about that... it's happening. And I'll be singing to my future husband about our love during the reception, so he better be ready for that. Oh, and the food has to be glorious. If the food at the wedding is bad, then it just allows the marriage to get off on the wrong foot, and we can't let that happen. Also, while we're on the subject of food, I don't care what anyone says, if I want to eat at my wedding, I am going to take a break from thanking everyone for coming and posing for pictures and eat to my heart's content. I'm not risking my sanity just to make everyone happy. It's not going to be like Lily and Marshall's wedding on How I Met Your Mother, do you hear me?

:)

Unworthy

UNWORTHY

(I wasn't sure what to put for the GIF in this post, so here is one of Ron Swanson dancing. You're welcome).

I suppose that this blog post's tone will be a bit more serious than the rest. Lately, I have frequently been thinking about my situation in life, and found myself worrying about the future. This is not uncommon in people my age, and especially not for myself, since being worrisome has always been one of my main attributes. The future is uncertain, and I have a hard time dealing with change. I also have a difficult time making things happen. Even if I truly want to accomplish someone, I typically need a push from friends and family to get started on the project.

I could be a lot worse, and have no motivation to do anything at all, but it's still pretty bad. Especially when there are so many awesome adventures in life that I'd like to attempt but so little time. Ultimately, I believe my hesitance to try something new is due to my fear of failure. Instead of getting past the fear, however, like a normal human being, I let it hinder my life to an extreme level. I am getting slightly better with this, though, and I am trying to venture out of my comfort zone so I can become the woman that I want to be.

Just recently, I have been comparing myself a lot to those around me. I know, I know, 'Comparison is the thief of joy.' That is very true and I try not to look at other people's talents, wishing that they were mine. That is unbiblical, terrible for my self-esteem and does not do anything to help my friendships with people. Yet, at times, it gives me inspiration on how I would like my life to turn out, which is quite nice. And being friends with these awesome people gives me new opportunities to take in order to change my life. (That is, if I don't let my fear get the better of me).

Yet, the comparing I've been doing has helped me realize something very important. Though I'm trying to take a break from relationships and stop pursuing guys (since they should really be pursuing me), I can't help but still admire some of the more awesome gentlemen in my life. They certainly deserve the admiration, but I'm not about to act on my feelings. 'Why not?' You may ask. 'If you never try, you'll never know,' the world tells me. While I believe that, whole heartedly, I am not about to fall back into my crazy ways with relationships. It hasn't worked for me in the past, so why on Earth would it work now? In all honesty, I don't even believe that I am worthy of this person, anyhow.

Maybe worthy isn't the right word for this situation. I'm not quite sure. To me, it's easy to see that I don't seem to fit in with him and we are different in many ways. This may or may not be true, due to the fact that I don't really know him too well and have yet to gather evidence that backs it up. For example, in the time that I've known him, he acts like an extremely smart individual... and I'm intelligent as well, but I do not feel as if my knowledge is adequately matched with his. Since I have no clue as to what his actual level of intelligence is, and have never brought it up during a conversation, I have no idea whether or not my assumptions are correct.

Now don't get me wrong. The characteristics that I've found in him are most likely all accounted for. He's smart, kind and somewhat shy with people that he doesn't know. Though there is no denying these facts are apparent on a surface level, I'm pretty sure that I'm taking his positive qualities and exaggerating them to a level that is embarrassing. I've created an uncomfortably high pedestal for this poor guy, and it's only a matter of time before the truth about him comes out. If I don't stop this kind of behavior quick, his image is bound to fall from the top of the mountain of perfection and make things pretty awkward between us. (Not that I believe he's going to turn out to be a terrible guy with all kinds of inexusable flaws buuut... you get what I mean, hopefully).

While it is fine to admire someone, I just can't seem to calm myself down. I begin to overlook  the imperfections of the guy I like, and create unreachable standards for them. Going with the flow and truly accepting someone for who they are is very difficult for me when I start to daydream. Perhaps it's the drama queen within me trying to rule my life? Or maybe my perception of romance and love has been so distorted by Hollywood and this world, that I am not able to view any relationship in a healthy way. I have no idea how to change. I have no idea what to do in this situation. To be honest, I'm worried that my worrying will ruin everything. (Doesn't that sound enjoyable?)

My friendship with this guy is definitely the number one most important thing at this point. I could care less if it were to go anything beyond that. Though that would be absolutely wonderful and I would be a very lucky girl if it happened, I do believe that I have to mature a lot before it can happen. So, for now, I'm trying to take an approach I've never used before. I'm going to let things happen on their own. I'm going to do my best to just focus on a friendship, get to know him and stop myself from daydreaming about what could be. Every time I do that, I get into trouble. I set myself up for heartbreak when I take things to the fantasy world.

You would think that my current plan of action would be very easy to follow. In fact, you would say that it's the normal way of going about one's business in the relationship world. I do believe that you are right in saying that... however, you are talking to a crazy twenty year old woman here. One who is loud, absolutely awkward and wishes her life was a musical. Everything that I do is dramatic, though I'm trying to be a bit more normal in that respect. For me, I have some bad habits that I have to kill before I can even attempt to be normal in life. Yay..... I'm so excited. :P

I have to stop pursuing guys because ultimately, they never like me as much as I like them. I have to start focusing on the many amazing things that are important in my life. God, my family, friends and of course, music (among other fun things), are just some of those items in life that I want to center my life around instead of guys I happen to like a little bit. I also need to stop worrying. I worry WAY too much and that produces a lot of anxiety, which I dislike. It'll be a long process, but I'm ready. I'm content with being single. I'm content with admiring from afar and being a friend. I'm content with waiting for God's plans for me.

At least, right now I'm content. There will be days when I am impatient, cranky and just plain stupid. I am blessed, though, despite those hard times that I know are bound to come. God has allowed me good relationships with the greatest people that surrounding me already. They will be there to give me guidance, comfort and love. And for that, I am truly thankful. :)

Food

FOOD, GLORIOUS FOOD

Food and I have an extremely healthy relationship, if you were at all curious. I absolutely adore stuffing my face with sweet treats and wonderful savory meals. In fact, when there is food around, I just can't say no. I don't want to say no. Letting food go to waste isn't my style, to tell you the truth. There are so many people in third world countries who are forced to skip meals, due to poverty. I would feel very guilty if any food were to go to waste. So, to make up for their lack of food, I make sure to eat seconds and thirds when I'm at the buffet. I'm sure that they would be appreciative of my efforts, as they are so noble and kind.

Okay, okay... So that is not really how I feel. In all honesty, I would much rather give all my extra food to those who don't get enough food for their bellies. Instead of gorging myself whenever I sit down to a meal, due to bad emotional eating habits I have picked up over the years, I would much rather see other families be fed. I feel particularly guilty when I see how much food is wasted in the United States. Personally, I feel very selfish that I can eat food until I'm past a full belly. And unfortunately, eating that much is not an uncommon activity in my life. It is as if I live to eat instead of just eating to live.

Sure, it is fine to enjoy food. You could even become a food snob and that would be quite alright (KINDA :P). But becoming gluttonous, as I have, is not right. It's a real shame to witness when I am placed in a setting where an abundance of food is available. Just yesterday, I was at a women's conference at church, and the people in charge really spoiled us. Breakfast was served at 8 AM, snacks available during our breaks and then a dessert table suddenly appeared! Though I hate to say it, I ate way too much. My stomach grew three sizes that day. (Okay, that's a definite hyperbole but whenever you can make a 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' reference, you cannot ignore it). 

Instead of limiting myself, I felt the need to just keep eating because the food was there. I would see the food after eating a hearty snack, and although I had no hunger pains, I went back to pile up my plate again. It was certainly delicious, but I know that something is just not right with my habits. I eat when I'm bored, even when my stomach sends up a tiny white flag, screaming, "I surrender!" Despite it's clear refusal, I can't stop eating. It's like the food has put me in a trance. A scary, scary trance full of food that looks beautiful but they are really snacks that want to murder me! I'm blind to their murderous gazes, however, and befriend these little creatures. In fact, we have become best friends. 

I'm not sure if I like this relationship.

How can I be saved from overeating? I know the usual tips: drink more water, grab healthy snacks instead, or find a way to distract yourself. These don't work for me! I drink so much water during the day that I am going to the bathroom every five minutes. I love healthy snacks.... but what happens when I eat way too much of them? And distracting myself? Have YOU ever tried to distract yourself from the sinfully siren call of the Girl Scout cookies that call themselves Thin Mints? I would think not, if you are suggesting that I try to find an activity more desirable than eating Thin Mints. Or perhaps you have a good amount of willpower? Not everyone does, unfortunately, and I'm definitely someone who lacks that attribute.

No, these tips do not work for me. So I go on searching for ones that do. As of today, there hasn't been any luck... but not to fret, my darlings. A working tip is bound to show it's face eventually. At least, we hope that it will. I certainly hope that there is a light at the end of this chocolate covered tunnel.

Independent

I'M A STRONG INDEPENDENT BLACK WOMAN WHO DON'T NEED NO MAN

Okay... so I may not exactly be a black woman, but technicalities hurt people, alright? I can still dream of possessing such sass that makes those around me fearful of questioning my authority. One day, I will get to that level and it will be glorious. But that, my friends, is another post for a different day. Today, I feel like rambling on and on about a crazy little thing called love. I wouldn't be a proper female if I didn't focus at least half of my blog posts on this extremely important matter. I've been severely lacking in posts about the love department and I believe many of you would want me to make up for it. So, without any further ado, here we go...

Boys are confusing. Sure, sure, they say that women are confusing and though that may be true, I'd like to think that I'm very straightforward with my feelings. I may be shy at times, but usually, I let my feelings be known. If I don't like someone, I try to be as nice as I can and let them off easy. I try not to flirt with boys I don't like... although sometimes my kindness confuses them, and they start to believe that I have a crush on them. When I like a guy, it usually doesn't take long for me to either, A) Be a crazy girl, freak them out by talking about how I like them to other people and then we are no longer friends. Or B) Tell them I like them, face to face, and find myself rejected but we still remain friends. Or in some rare cases, C) Tell them I like them, the boy tries to ignore the situation, then tells me that I could do better and that he doesn't want to ruin our friendship and then no longer talks to me again after he believes things have become "awkward". The latter is a very rough situation, for sure...

Very rarely do my adventures in life turn out how I want them to when it comes to relationships. I have a few reasons as to why that may be the case. Although this isn't my typical "Reasons Why" post, I will tell you about all of the reasons why I think it happens, anyway. However, that won't be the end of this post. This isn't some 'Ooooh, poor me. Something's wrong with me and I can't fix it. Pity me' post. This is an empowerment post, despite all of the issues I may or may not have.

I am a very kind person, or so I have been told. I like to bring sunshine to people's days, especially for those who are my closest friends. Yet, some people view my positivity as a bit eccentric. I must admit, I am a bit over-excited and peppy when I try to cheer people up. (Or when I'm around someone I truly admire). It's not too difficult to see how my attitude can be a bit over the top, at times. My voice is shrill, I have a hard time keeping quiet and it's also difficult for me to keep a cap on my excitement. I'm like a bottle of Coke when the carbonation has been building up after a good long shake. Once you open that sucker up and the stream of soda erupts out of the bottle, there is no use in stopping it. You can't stop it. 

As I have mentioned before, I tend to scare guys off by talking about how much I like them. Unfortunately, I love to talk and when I get excited about something, I enjoy to bring it into the conversation again and again and again.... I'm sure that the guys who are the center of attention aren't the only ones who get freaked out by it. This kind of behavior makes me look obsessed. And maybe I am. I have only had one relationship that was not overly depressing and stupid. Even then, it was difficult because I never saw him, due to the fact that he was from my home town in Elko. So, whenever I have a new crush, I am very hopeful and I talk to my friends about it. And let's face it, I have a lot of friends... so it's not too tough for the news to get out that I like someone. I know that this behavior isn't very attractive and I definitely need to calm down when liking a guy. I need to stop daydreaming about someone who I barely even know because in all honesty, that is where I find trouble.

I do end up getting a bit obsessed because I am a natural worrier. It's not like I'm out there stalking every new crush I have. In fact, it's the very opposite. I get really nervous and it takes a LOT to start talking to them. And usually when I do talk to them, I say stupid things. No, my problem is that I start to worry about what I should do to make them like me. Which is stupid, in the first place, because why would I want to force someone to like me? I begin to think about the situation all the time, not so much the person and how perfect I think they are. My confidence level seems to drop with each new day, as I start to believe that I am not worthy of being liked and that isn't right. So, honestly, I'm very thankful that nothing has worked out for me so far. If I was in an actual relationship, I don't even know how that would work out for me. At least, right now with my 'way too much worrying' tendencies and my lack of confidence.

I may not be the most stylish girl around, or the skinniest nor do I possess model good looks, but I am down to earth, absolutely hilarious (usually) and NOT at all boring. I am not afraid to like nerdy things nor am I going to change myself, or my values, in order to make someone like me. I know I should probably put more effort into how I present myself at school but let's be honest, school tires me out. I don't want to be there. My appearance is directly affected by how much school takes out of me. So.... I'm blaming lectures and professors for the lack of care for my appearance. ;P Though, I don't think I'm too terrible to look at. Especially when I'm typically smiling all the time. Smiling makes anyone look good :)

So there are some reasons as to why I am single. They may not even have anything to do with it, but I have a nagging feeling at the back of my head that tells me otherwise. However, I am not too sad about it. I know that God has a plan for me. And if he is using these silly little quirks that I have adopted over the years to keep me from being in the wrong relationships, then I am extremely grateful. Sure, I probably make a fool out of myself each time I try to pursue those relationships and then make these 'mistakes' but in the end, I typically end up a little stronger and smarter because of the situation. Right now, I'm super content with being by myself. In fact, I prefer it. I do not have to deal with any broken hearts, nor do I have to spend my money on dates or looking pretty. All I have to do is love myself, do the things I want to do and remember that I do not need the acceptance from another human being.

God loves me. And you. He is also preparing me for the man that He has picked out for me. At least, that is my belief. If you think that is totally silly, then that is quite alright. My beliefs give me hope, however, so I wouldn't change them for the world. Even if I'm wrong, and I don't have someone that I will marry and spend the rest of my human life with, that is a okay as well. No matter what happens, I am trusting in God, because ultimately, He knows what is best for me. He sacrificed His son Jesus, because they both love me in a way that incomprehensible to humans! They wanted me to be accepted into the Kingdom of Heaven and honestly, what could be better than that? I am going to focus on Him right now, because I know that no matter what happens, He will lead me down the path that He planned for me. Whether that brings me troubles or lots and lots of happiness, I know that it will make me the Woman of Christ that I am supposed to be.

Thank you, Jesus. :)

Time

SO MUCH TIME

So little to do.

 Finals are now officially done for me. WOO HOO! That means, no more stress, no more studying and no more worrying. Praise the Lord, Jesus! I still have to attend another day of my creative writing class since we have a few more final presentations to go through. However, I already presented my project so I can deal with getting up early for once to attend an 8 a.m. class in the middle of the week. It is absolutely no big deal when all you have to do is show up, receive some previous homework assignments and hopefully be told that you got an 'A' in the class. At least, I pray those are the words I am able to hear tomorrow... if not, I suppose that a B is okay. Or at least, that is what I've had to keep telling myself during the last few days. I don't actually believe that, for myself, but life doesn't always go the way you planned. Life still continues, despite if it's on a different path than intended, but the only thing that truly matters is how you react to the change. So, I'm choosing to act positively about it so I can continue to be happy all of my days.

Now that summer is here (for the most part), I have been filled to the brim with absolute happiness. Though I must work from 9 AM to 5 PM during the week, I am so thankful that there is no more stress entering my life in the form of homework, projects and songs to learn for juries. The only stressful situation occuring during this summer is figuring out how to save up money for all of the things I need/want. I only make so much and since becoming an adult, I've finally realized how far (or rather, how little) a dollar will stretch. School, Rent, Utilities, Food, Gas... The list of things I have to pay for goes on and on, and tends to grow with each passing day. Oh responsibility... how I loathe you. Of course, it's not as bad as it could be since I receive a lot of help from my dad with money. My mom helps me as much as she can, as well and for both of them, I am extremely grateful. I sincerely wish to be financial independent of them in the near future, however. 

I really would not like to dwell on my financial problems right now, so I will talk about something that makes me happy: MY SUMMER BUCKET LIST! :D I am determined for this summer to be as awesome as possible because this past school year wasn't as great as I would have hoped. Sure, it was most likely due to an attitude problem, but there were just some things that happened that unfortunately kept me down in the dumps. However, without the stress of school on my shoulders, I feel that I am better equipped to handle any emotional warfare or any possible drama people decide to impose on my life. Although I work much of the time, I still have a good amount of free time to myself. With weekends off, endless possibilities of fun are possible. Tahoe is not too far away and I'm planning on going there at least a few times before the summer ends. I am beyond excited!

I've got the usual plans on the list: Go swimming, hang out with my sisters, visit Elko. Then I've also got a few new ones that scare me slightly: face my fear of heights and go on the swing thing at GSR, and also go visit my best friend, Katie Shook, in Portland. The latter isn't so scary, I think the biggest problem I have with that may be money. But I've been saying for so long that I am going to visit, so I should probably stop lying and have a great time visiting her finally! Which reminds me, I should probably plan that now instead of waiting until the week before. It's not like the four hour trip home to Elko.... it actually involves budgeting and such. Oh joyous day...

This summer should be most excellent. That is, if I let it be. I can't let silly things get in my way of happiness. And in all honesty, I should probably stop persuing romantic relationships for now. In my experience, that is what causes most of the drama in my life. Well, a lot of it anyway... if not most. I'm okay with being single, even though a summer romance would be pretty fun. But, I'm pretty sure it's because my ideas of a summer romance are tainted by Hollywood's distorted image of romance. I sincerely don't want to have a relationship that lasts only a summer. Sure, it would be loads of fun to enjoy summer activities with a cute guy... but I can enjoy those things by myself, just as well. Singleness isn't a curse. It's a blessing. Yet, most of the young people of today don't realize that, myself included. I constantly judge my self worth based on how many guys like me, or if I am in a relationship. That isn't right and has got to stop.

All the more reason to enjoy my summer alone :)

Well, not alone. But in the company of good friends. No drama necessary.

I pray that this summer is successful. And I also pray that yours is as well... Everyone deserves to have fun, especially in the times where they aren't so busy and can rest a bit. Let's all just have the best summers of our lives, okay?

AHHH!

I just want to bang my head against this keyboard.
Or sleep and never wake up.
Or maybe just eat my feelings away.

Of course, all three of those options would not end well nor would they be fulfilling in the long run. Although I know that, I still don't do anything differently in life to be successful. I am lazy, emotional and just a wreck. I am so excited for summer to arrive because honestly, I am just done with school. I don't know what is wrong with me but I haven't been able to get caught up with things around here. Well... actually, that's a lie. I do know what is wrong. I have terrible habits. TERRIBLE, terrible habits that keep me from being successful. These habits include: Procrastinating, procrastinating, and did I happen to mention, procrastinating?

Everyone procrastinates, sure, but this year I have taken it to an extreme level. I am not doing the best I could do, and quite frankly, that disappoints me. Though, I shouldn't dwell on that fact because in the long run, my performance in life doesn't matter. One of these days I will be gone and no one will remember my name... that is, unless I do something freakin' awesome. Which has always been my hope for life. I love attention but in the past year, I have realized that I don't want to do something that will highlight how great I am. I want to do great things that help other people, because that is truly the most fulfilling accomplishment.

In order to start working towards that greatness, I am going to get my life in order. It's time to organize, buy calendars and tap back into the slightly OCD behavior of my high school years. I'm going to have the summer of my life and appreciate the things that I have been blessed with in my life, because there are so many! I am no longer okay with being second best. I am going to be the best. For myself and for God. I've faltered so many times on my journey with Christ, and though that is understandable since I am an imperfect human, I am ready for a change. I am putting him at the center of my life, which is exactly He should be.

He is my strength.
He can do the impossible.
Through Him, anything is possible.

With His help, I can kick the bad habit of not caring and procrastinating. I can feel fulfilled because in all honesty, I have a great life. I am not being grateful about many things and that helps perpetuate my bad attitude. That then allows me to be lazy. I don't like it. I don't like it one bit. I'm tired of saying that I am going to change and then never do anything to change it. So... it's happening. Whether anyone approves or not.

This blog post is definitely all over the place and I apologize, but I needed to let all the feelings out. It has been fun and now I feel a lot better! Yay, blogs!

Reasons Why:

5 REASONS WHY I BELIEVE MY DOG IS PLOTTING TO KILL ME

Sure, sure, I know what you are saying already... "But Westley is so cute and cuddly and blah, blah, blah..." And I don't want to deny that, because he can be those things. However, you do not live with this dog. You do not have to deal with his daily shenanigans. Although he may fool you all with his miniature size and fun energy, I am able to see past his sly trickery. I see Westley for what he truly is... and unfortunately, I have come to believe that he might just be a killer. Despite his tiny legs, one eye and cheery disposition, I have a nagging hunch that he may just be more devious than I had originally thought.

1. As stereotypical as this sounds... My dog only has one eye. Yes, yes, I know what you're thinking: "What does that have to do with him wanting to kill you?" Well, let me just say, some pirates only have one eye. Most pirates with one eye are very cold-hearted and have killed many in order to fulfill their selfish desires. My dog is named after a pirate and only has one eye, therefore I can claim that he's practically a pirate. I also am able to easily deduct from this information that my dog has pirate tendencies and is plotting to kill me in order to steal my money and sail away on a big ship (which he will most likely also steal). This speculation alone is enough to back up my fear of being killed.

2. He sheds his fur everywhere in order to frustrate me. Although most of you would claim that this is a natural occurrence and happens with many other animals, I could not disagree more. While a thin layer of fur coats every item in my room, from carpet to blankets to my books, (YES, books. I don't even know how that's possible), I can't help but notice the intent in his eyes as he is prancing around my room. I am positive that he knows exactly what he is doing with that fur. He knows how I don't want to be that person. The one who looks as if they don't clean up after their animals because they are covered with hair. I had always thought that these people just didn't clean very well... Now I know that I'm mistaken and that animals are sometimes buttheads. 

3. While enjoying my time relaxing at home, I typically expect my young dog to cuddle up in my lap and allow me to sleep. This rarely happens, however. Instead, Westley enjoys to refer to any of my free moments as play time. Walking, petting and playing with him are great activities, especially after I've been at school all day. Even though I may be exhausted, I truly do not mind tossing his chew toys around and rubbing his wittle belly. The only reason this play time gets annoying is because Mr. Westley doesn't like to play nice. After a few time chasing after his toy, he starts to get bored. At this time he will get really close to my face, staring at me with his cute puppy dog eye. This behavior is seemingly innocent, of course. He waits for a moment... And then CHOMPS AT MY FACE. A low growl escapes from his snout as he does so, which concerns me. I swear there is actual contempt behind those snaps and growls. I don't want my face to be bitten. That would really hurt. :(

4.  Although I'm not trying to be judgemental, sometimes my dog's one eye is creepy. Especially wnen he just stares at me for an extremely long period of time. And it's during the middle of the night. And I just so happened to be asleep before waking up with a start and finding that one little dog eye staring. This kind of behavior is not the least bit comforting when I believe that he is trying to kill me. Instead of coming off as sweet and protective, I feel like it's much more like the evening hours are his plotting time instead of him guarding over me with a watchful eye.

5. I'm pretty positive that Westley could hold the world record for 'Longest Claws on a Domesticated Animal'. I have tried countless times to have his nails trimmed, but he just won't have it. He thrashes around and tries to hurt the ladies who are grooming him. Apparently he isn't very trusting... which could possibly be an indicator to the fact that he doesn't deserve our trust. Anyhow, along with the lack of trust he demonstrates, his nails could be used to cause some real trauma. Every day when I come home, he feigns excitement and jumps up on my legs. If one is not careful, this seems like a harmless act of happiness. However, I know better. After a week of this behavior, I began to notice that my legs were quite scratched up. At that moment, I realized exactly what he was trying to do. He was really trying to hurt me!! Why else would he continue to jump on my legs when I asked him to stop?

After reading this blog post, I hope that you are aware that the behaviors of my dog are surely not out of happiness and excitement, but are caused by malicious intent. He is certainly out to get me and I don't care what anyone else says about his cuteness!! It's all a ruse to make you all turn against me. Please don't let his supposed disability fool you. He may have one eye, but that doesn't get rid of the fact that he is intelligent. Perhaps his utter evilness is what got him in the shelter in the first place. So please, I need your help. I need to outsmart this pup or I will be done for!