Reasons Why:

REASONS WHY I WOULD LIKE TO BE 

A DISNEY PRINCESS

1. Bursting out into random song and dance is totally acceptable when you are (or will ultimately become) Disney royalty. These princesses' stories are never complete unless there are at least three musical numbers throughout the film, (although having more than that is highly encouraged). No matter when or where they burst out in song, everyone loves the princesses. No one ever gets annoyed at them. As my readers, I suspect that you probably know enough about me to realize that I could be the perfect Disney princess if it came down to how many musical numbers I could perform. Of course, since I haven't been approached by big time executives concerning my princess career, I am beginning to sense that there is a lot more that goes into good princess-ery than singing and dancing. Bugger.

2. As we can see in Ariel's case, sometimes it is hard to catch a man. Especially when some evil witch steals your voice and you can't really do much but flaunt your body or make goo-goo eyes at the guy you like, hoping that he will understand your signals. Unfortunately, guys are so oblivious that they do not even realize what you are trying to do. However, that is why most Disney princesses have little sidekicks. Like the Little Mermaid we know and love, I would really enjoy having sea animals that use song and dance to manipulate my crushes into loving me. I wouldn't have to lift a finger or speak a word to make him understand that I like him. I could just leave all the difficult work to my little friends.

However, it may not be difficult work at all, now that I come to think about it. Especially if this situation were to involve me, I know that I have been unsuccessful at all my attempts to find a relationship. The reason being? I'm silly crazy. I get a bit intense when I like a guy but I try to act all calm and collected. It never works. Because I am so worried that I will scare them away, I am not confident with any of my words so in most cases, they just come jumbling out. This, in turn, scares the guy away.

So, if I were to take away my voice and leave it to awesome animals, then finding a man would be a breeze, I suspect. I couldn't say stupid things that make the guy reevaluate their decisions. I wouldn't be able to make animal noises when there are awkward silences (because I do that and it's weird). My little furry (or crabby, if I were a mermaid :P) sidekicks would be able set the mood and serenade me and my guy, and I couldn't ruin it with my weirdness. I could just sit there and look gorgeous! Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha. Ha.

3. For as long as I can remember, I have had to deal with tangled and unruly locks of dull hair. It's been a real terrible experience, especially after putting in hours of hair time but to no avail. It always looks like the same mess, no matter what is done with it. Disney princesses seem to never be plagued by these kind of problems, even if they live in the desert, under the sea or miles and miles away from civilization and hair products. These ladies don't have unsightly baby bangs that bunch around your forehead and temples, nor do they have to tame fly aways. Their hair is always unbelievably long, healthy, perfectly smooth and beautiful. As far as I know, this is not humanly possible. Even modern day princesses and celebrities have days where their hair does not like to listen.

Perhaps they use hair products and tools made specially for the Disney ladies? I suppose that brushing your hair one hundred times per evening is not enough anymore. Maybe I too should comb my hair out with a fork (A.K.A. Dinglehopper)? Will this help me to attain the healthy locks I have so long desired?

 

4. Unless you are starting off as Cinderella, your wardrobe is typically pretty darn cool. You never have to wear the same thing twice because you are a princess, dang it! The dresses that Disney princesses wear are most likely made out of the finest material, and are never over the top on the fashion side. Of course, they are over the top fancy!  Honestly, I have the most difficult time picking out outfits for myself. I feel as if I don't have a very good sense of style. Yet, if I was a Disney princess, I would have much better options brought in by experts (such as my Fairy Godmother) instead of having to trust Walmart for my fashion needs.

5. In my wide experience with Disney movies, it seems as if Princesses do a lot of sleeping. If my main duties in life were sleeping and looking pretty, life would be absolutely perfect and simple. I do not believe there is anything in this world that I love more than sleep. Well, besides food but that doesn't matter right now. If I were a princess, I would probably love sleeping more than food since it seems to me that most of these chicks are awakened by a kiss from a smokin' hot prince. Yeah, food would definitely lose the battle if I had a Prince Charming alarm clock. ;)

 

 

(Technically she is dead here... well, in a way. But who cares! It can still be considered as resting time).

 

 

6. My life hasn't been so successful in the relationship department, as you all know. While I am certainly okay with that and being on my own, it would be nice to have a win every once in a while when it comes to love. As a Disney princess, I would be unstopable. Even when things look bleak, they always get their prince in the end. It doesn't matter if a sea witch has murder on her mind, or if your father really hates the guy you love and is about to kill him. As a Disney princess, success is inevitable. Even being jarred awake from eternal sleep is possible as Disney royalty. Where there is a will, there is definitely a way. Love is a main theme in these stories, so it has to happen anyway. You just can't fight it. Well, unless you're Meirda. But she doesn't want love and that's weird. Sooooo... I'm not counting her in this.

(Yeah, yeah... she's not a real princess but she is gosh darn funny in Princess and the Frog. Plus, this is exactly what I would look like if I was dancing with a prince. Therefore, it works.) 

 

7. Who wouldn't want to be royalty? Seriously. Nowadays, princesses may ultimately have to worry about ruling a country when crowned Queen, but besides that tiny fact, it has to be a very awesome life. As a princess, your desires would only be limited by your imagination. Nothing is out of your reach, unless for some reason you don't happen to have a room full of riches that your family accumulated. That would definitely put a damper on things...

 

Golden crowns and jewelry become your favorite accessories. Furniture that belongs to royalty is most likely the absolutely best and most comfortable furniture that there is. I mean, I have no idea if that is true or not, but it just has to be. Why on Earth would a Disney princess deal with uncomfortable furniture? You could punish those who have become your enemies just because you are the leader of the country. That doesn't make it right... but it could still be fun. You would never lack food, and it would always be cooked by personal chefs. You would never have to lift a finger.

 

If your heart so desired, your life could be one big party with a little bit of responsibility thrown in when you have to take care of the country.

 

Being royalty encourages laziness. And I'm okay with that.

 

 

8. In every Disney story, there is some kind of adventure to be had. The stories of Disney princesses are no exception, to every little girl's pleasant surprise! Ariel goes on a journey where she changes from mermaid to human and loses her beautiful voice. Though not on her own accord, Belle is forced into a journey when her father goes missing and ends up finding something more than her provincial life. Rapuzel takes a leap of faith and escapes her tower in order to find the floating lights. On this adventure she finds out that she is capable of a lot more than her "mother" gives her credit for.

 

I want adventure. I want to live a life worth living. Like Belle, I feel trapped by my circumstances. I know that I am meant to do a lot more than what I'm doing.... but unlike Belle, I don't believe I will have to worry about my father getting lost in the forest. Therefore, I'm at an impasse. Perhaps I don't want adventure enough... I believe that is the case. I've gotten into lazy habits so that makes it easy to miss adventure. That has got to change!!!

 

 

 

9. When you do catch Princess Charming, not only would you have every material thing that your little heart desires, but also a lifetime guarantee that you will always be happy. As a Disney princess, your story ends with 'And they lived happily ever after,' not 'And then she died of natural causes'. I'm pretty sure that because they are associated with Disney, these princesses are more magical than normal women in royalty. In fact, I'm pretty certain that they will never die. Every time I visit Disneyland, the princesses seem to never age. Either this is achieved by magic... or lots of plastic surgery. Who knows? For my sake, I'm just going to believe that Disney princesses live forever... Which is all the more reason to become one. Who wants to get old? I don't have time to deal with wrinkles or greying hair or whatever else comes with old age...

 

All I want is my happily ever after!!!

 

 

Reasons Why:

10 REASONS WHY I'M RIDICULOUSLY ATTRACTIVE

Once in a while I go through these phases where I feel as if everyone around me is in a
 relationship. Though this isn't true, I start to see couples everywhere I go and become thoroughly annoyed. "Why am I not in a relationship?" I ask myself, although I already know the answer. I'm just too gosh darn attractive for most of the guys I encounter. I know that they must be intimidated by all of the awesomeness I possess and I don't blame them... I would be scared of me too. It's sometimes really difficult to be this amazing. So today, I've compiled a list of my best attributes in order to help you to fully understand just how great I am. Feel free to comment with any additions to the list! After learning all these wonderful facts about me, I'm hoping you will feel more comfortable to approach me and be my friend :P

1. Despite my inability to successfully imitate any accent aside from British, I am really, REALLY good at performing impressions of certain movie characters. One of these characters happens to be the always entertaining and forever beautiful Smeagol! Ever since I read the Hobbit in high school, I couldn't help but be terrified but intrigued by his tortured soul. Seriously, it's quite attractive when I bust out in his voice, crouching close the the floor and coveting the nearest ring. When I utter the words, "My Precious..," I'm sure you will break into a fit of passion.

Look at those doe-eyes.

2. Another ladylike and dainty quality that I possess happens to deal with my favorite subject. FOOD! I am pretty positive that I could hold my own in a competitive eating contest. My only stipulation would be that whatever I am eating must taste delicious. I will pretty much give anything new a try as well. Maybe I should create my own Food Network show where I get paid to try and beat food eating contests. Emotional Eater VS. Food.... I could see it happening. And unlike Adam from Man VS. Food, I would NOT lose. I never lose against food.  

I really just love me some food.

 

3. I can dance really, REALLY well. I am about as successful at dancing as a turtle trying to change his name to copy some influential Italian painter from back in the day and becoming a superhero. (In my experience, I don't think that happens very often). My signature dance moves include the Lawnmower, the Night at the Roxbury head bob and of course, the Q-Tip (made famous by the movie Hitch). I also enjoy interpretive dance from time to time. As a friend recently told me, it's quite simple since the basic formula for a successful interpretive dance  is "creating something and then cowering from it". I thought that was spot on and truly explains the sacred art form.

Don't stop believing and never quit dancing!

4. I am really brave in a rash, silly sort of way. I definitely can stand up for myself or be really confident at times but I usually don't plan out how I'm going to react or what I will say. I just kinda go for it if I'm going to talk to someone. Usually, this results in me saying something embarrassing or rambling on and on. Or I end up making a weird face that creeps out everyone in the room, including myself. For many of my bold moments, the latter is the most common occurrence. Along with these faces, weird noises escape me and I have no idea where they come from. It's quite the experience for myself to see how people react to these things. My bravery usually comes in bursts which run out when I need them most and then I just revert back to shy self and feel silly for hours. It's so awesome. 



I'm adorkable.

5. Although the last year has been somewhat tough for me, I always try to look on the bright side of life. In fact, once I do find the slightest bit of positivity, I latch onto this attitude like there is no tomorrow. I become a tad crazy and start complimenting the crap out of the people around me. After leaving all of my really close friends back home and moving out on my own, I don't really hang out with people regularly. When people ARE around, I get so happy and hyper that I have been known to knock over furniture and get really weird. (Though I still swear I cannot recall how that table ended up on the floor, Jessica!)

 Smiling is pretty dang great.

6. Many people are super jealous of my fashion sense. Not many people can pull off sweats and an Avengers T-shirt for any occasion. Usually that type of outfit is strictly for lazy days at home when people will not see you yet I am bold. I take risks. I make statements and I do not follow the crowd. I wear what I want and I make it look really, really ridiculously good looking. I enjoy bargain hunting and shopping at Ross: Dress for Less. Who needs top designers when you can get clothing from Wal-Mart for cheap and then spend the rest of your money on more important things (like the ingredients for cookies!). It is true that I thoroughly enjoy dresses and lookin' girly but until I have a lot more money to spend, my dresses will be on short supply. For now it'll be jeans and t-shirts with the occasional appearance of formal wear for SAI meetings or dates. Even then, you have to be pretty freakin' important for me to wear something nice when I hang out with you.

Blue steel is my signature move but you better watch out for Magnum!

7. You know that thing called maturity? Well... I seem to have stolen all of it from the human race. I'm pretty positive that I am as mature as Shawn Spencer from Psych and he's pretty dang mature. Yeah, I don't like childish things such as Saturday morning cartoons nor do I quote random movies at the most inconvenient times. I do not get really intense about nerf guns, I don't talk to my friends using a lisp and childish lingo and I would much rather sit inside a coffee shop with my hipster glasses than cook delicious snacks in my easy bake oven. I mean, an easy bake oven. I DO NOT OWN AN EASY BAKE OVEN. I own a real oven that cooks real life sized cakes and cookies. But it's also boring and black and does not come with stickers for decoration. :( I also hate everything that is beautiful and wonderful and hilariously fun and just plain great. 'CUZ I'M AN ADULT.

8. Much like a Disney princess, I sing whenever my heart desires. Which is all the time. I guess because I am a music major, this is sort of expected but let's be honest... I've been this way since birth. I cannot go three minutes without some tune popping into my head. And even when I thought that my voice was shot and I had nodes... I still was singing. I just couldn't stop. It's an addiction. A scary amazing and certainly very fun addiction.

Aca-Believe it!

9. I also cry all the time.

 

 

10. And last but certainly not least.... One of the best reasons for why I'm so attractive: I'M A GIRL. I can wear dresses, put flowers in my hair and I am not expected to lift heavy things EVER. I am not judged if I cry in public (at least not too harshly) and I could be a stay at home mom if I wanted to. BUT I don't. So I can go get a job. And be awesome. Although if I was anymore awesome, the world would probably explode. I'm not sure if I want to risk your safety like that! That would just be unkind of me and as you all may know, that's totally not like me. I'm definitely humble and kind. ;)

 I hope that you have enjoyed reading all about the attributes that make me awesome. I know I sure enjoyed writing about them. But on a more serious note... All of you out there, LOVE yourself. All your quirks, all your fears, everything that you can't do right. EMBRACE those qualities because they are the things that make you unique in this world. Even if you may not think that your awkwardness is cute, believe me, the people that are meant to be in your life and be your friend will love you for it. I have had to learn that over and over again during my life. I am so grateful for all of those people and for you, who is taking the time to read my blog. It's truly a blessing :) I hope that you have an AMAZING day and remember to give yourself some love today. You deserve it.