Reasons Why

REASONS WHY 

HOCUS POCUS IS THE 

SCARIEST (BUT STILL THE BEST) 
HALLOWEEN MOVIE  

EVER 

1. These witches aren't the type of magic-wielders that we are used to in this generation. Instead of the soft-spoken, pre Order of the Phoenix Harry Potter that we all know and love, these witches are sour, rude, and to be honest, a big dose of PURE EVIL. I mean, anyone who wants to kill/harm children just to become young again has a bit of a problem. To me, they are even worse than Lord Voldemort. Now he wanted power, so it's no surprise that he started killing people and tried to instill fear in individuals. That is the usual path villains take in order to fulfill their dreams of ruling the world. These gals weren't longing for power and money... They wanted to be beautiful and live forever. And how must they fulfill that wish?

 2. They use song and dance to lure you in... Then they GET YA! To me, this is the cruelest form of deception that I have ever come across. The one thing that I, and many others, love with all their hearts and Winnifred, Sarah and Mary have defiled it! These crazy witches use soothing melodies to lull you into a false sense of security, only then to suck out your life source after making you drink a disgusting (I presume) potion full of toes from a dead man. Perhaps if they weren't so hip and couldn't carry a tune, then this wouldn't be a problem? However, when you've got the vocals of Bette Midler on your side, you know you've got the power to win. 

 3. Now onto the less scary things and onto what makes this Hocus Pocus the best Halloween movie ever made. I've got one word for you that doesn't need much explanation (although I'll give it to you anyway). DANI! The annoying little sister who proves to be absolutely hilarious, adorable and who has a level of sass equivalent to that of an independent black woman who doesn't need no man. She embarrasses Max on many different occasions but to be honest, instead of being thought of as a brat, she should be awarded many cookies. I think that she has every right to make him look like a fool.

Seriously, here she is, eight years old and is totally uprooted from the life that she used to know, to move to Salem. While Max is in the same situation, he doesn't handle it quite as well as Dani does. Sure, we don't know what exactly Max left back home (a lovely lady? his best friend Chuck? his championship chess team that had finally named him captain?) and we can't exactly speculate. However, I just believe that he is just a silly pessimist who needs to learn to appreciate life a little more.

Dani keeps his self-pitying from turning into a bigger problem than it already is. Plus, she's very quick on her feet. Especially when dealing with the paranormal. Love her!

 

 

(I just couldn't help myself! She's too good!)

 4. The black cat is actually a human that was turned into an animal. And he's not bad luck. In fact, he's extremely good luck and makes sure that the witches are sent back to the bottomless black pit where they belong. Zachary Binx is quite possibly the best character in this whole movie, aside from Winnifred Sanderson. I mean, his dashing good looks (whilst human) paired with an incredibly sarcastic sense of humor equals perfection. And although he was turned into the cat and couldn't save his little sister, I believe that he handled those witches quite well. I mean, in the end, the Sanderson sisters were defeated. If you don't call that a success then I hope that you will take it upon yourself and light the black candle. I would love to see how you handle three crazy, but beautiful, witches who snack on children's souls. 

5. You know how I mentioned earlier that Dani had sass? Well... a lot of the characters in this movie have just as much sass, if not more.  (It really is just a sassy movie. Perhaps this happened because it was directed by Kenny Ortega. Who knows?)

The Zombies have sass:

The Sanderson Sisters have sass: (But mostly Winnifred)

 

Thackery Binx has SO much sass: (but unfortunately I couldn't find any GIF's to support that claim. So please enjoy one with Salem from Sabrina the Teenaged Witch, who looks the same and deals with witches all the time, just like Thackery.)

6. One thing that should be frightening us even more than the sisters' need for the souls of children, is the fact that Winnifred, Mary and Sarah's hair is always absolutely perfect. I do not understand the styles which they have chosen, however, I have a lot of respect for them. Though they go through quite a journey during that Halloween night, not a single hair falls out of place. They get into screaming matches, cross a black river that turns out to be a road, get showered by the burning rain of death, try to harm Max, Thackery, Alison and Dani multiple times, end up on the city's transportation system with a very creepy guy, fly around on vacuums, and much, much more! It's a wonder how they can keep everything so in tact. Perhaps black magic isn't the only thing that Book holds. 

 7. While we are on the topic of spell books... I would just like to note that I have never EVER seen a book as creepy as Winnifred's. Seriously! Made out of human skin and contains the most evil spells in the existence of spells. Just saying that aloud gives me the chills. Not to mention that it glows when you open it, so that you could never hide from those sisters, especially if you think it's a good idea to fight black magic with black magic. IDIOTS. Anyway, am I the only one who thinks it was odd for them to display her book in the museum? I'm not sure if the people of Salem really believed in it  or not, but if they did, don't you think they would want to burn that book? Or bury it six feet under? Whoever said to not judge a book by it's cover obviously never saw this one.

There are so many reasons as to why Hocus Pocus is the BEST Halloween movie out there, however, I wouldn't have the time to mention them all. You would be reading for days, if not weeks. I hope that you enjoyed this blog post and that you stay tuned for more!