I should really update this blog more than I do. However, it's been quite hectic in my life, as of late, and although I may have some free time, I'm not exactly good at managing that time. In fact, I should be studying, or reading, or doing something that would boost my GPA instead of demolishing it, right now.
But alas, I am here, trying to think of something interesting to write about. You would think that because I am busy, it would mean my life is full of cool stories to tell all of you lovely people about. Unfortunately, it is not. Most of the time, it's one big, never ending circle in which I procrastinate, fall behind and then hurry to catch up again. Most of the time I do not, and I realize that I'm not really doing things well in my life. I have so many opportunities, yet tend to fly by the seat of my pants and hoping for the best. I've fallen into bad habits and I'm not trying as hard as I should be.
I'm constantly exhausted and I'm throwing myself in a hundred different directions. How in the world am I supposed to do things well? I'm doing too many things, if you ask me. Perhaps if I were to cut down on the amount of activities I am participating in, then would I no longer be a flake who isn't doing much of anything that is special? Maybe then I could come to appreciate and learn the music I am currently studying. Perhaps then I could be the best VPM that Sigma Alpha Iota has ever seen?
Right now I feel behind in life. I'm studying something I used to love, I don't really have a passion for it anymore, and yet I have no idea what I would be doing besides music. I still love it, but now I'm more discouraged than inspired by it. I don't believe that is how it is supposed to be. I'm tired of feeling this way, but I have no idea how to shake it. This certainly feels like a quarter-life crisis and I'm not too fond of it.
Is there any way to break free from these habits? Is there any way to stop writing about the same thing over and over again, and finally give you poor folks something new to read about? Because seriously, this is the only topic that I can seem to write about...
Maybe one day you'll get a post that is actually interesting and new! For now, I must stick to what I know.
Maybe this is a quarter-life crisis you're going through, and maybe it's not. Maybe you're just well aware of what's going on in your life, and you're aspiring to improve it. And there's nothing wrong with that. You're going to be turning 21 soon. It's an age where a lot of people become anxious about their futures and what they want to do, and they start questioning whether or not they're on the right road. If you ask me, I think you're on the right road. For the relatively short amount of time that I've known you, it's been clear that music is something you love. I think that passion you speak of is still there, but it's just a little buried under the stresses of everything else you're going through: school, work, social obligations, and everything else. Give it a little time, and I'm sure your passion will rise from its ashes and burn brighter than ever.
ReplyDeleteIn the mean time, you just can't let things get you down (I know I'm not one to talk in that regard, but it's true). You're such an amazing person, and I know you know that. You say it all the time :) Maybe your life has been changing recently in ways that aren't entirely comfortable. But just give it time, and I know that you'll get everything you want out of life. That'll all come later.
For now, you should enjoy being the person that you are, possible flaws and all. Try to see the bright side of having little free time-- it only means you're making the most of your life, and packing it full of experiences that you can pleasantly look back upon when you do have too much time on your hands. In the mean time, you should definitely keep writing blog posts. There's plenty you could write about! What about your first world problems involving having to make the choice between ice cream or a smoothie? That would be funny, I bet. Or a post about Westley. I bet he's done something entertaining since you last posted about him. Maybe a post about your possible Candy Crush addiction? Or keep writing about this stuff. Writing is very therapeutic.
Anyway, I hope you don't let this stuff get you down too much. Every hardship you endure now will only make you stronger in the future.
Your response to this post really encouraged me, Matt. Thank you!
DeleteI'm always glad to help in any way I can :) And if things ever seem overwhelming, don't hesitate to use me as a way to vent. I'm always doing so with you, the least I could do is return the favor.
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